Honesty is the Best Policy

One day, when a seamstress was sewing, while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.

When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband make a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble, ringed with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Many years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.

When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Brad Pitt. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

" Yes!" cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Brad Pitt, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Brad Pitt."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of all concerned. That's our story, and we're sticking to it!

COURAGE

"Fear is the opportunity for courage, not proof of cowardice."

- John McCain -

FRICTION

We have a big inflatable water slide for the girls. They love to slide down and to splash around in the pool of water at the bottom. Of course, they can slide on it at any time, but if there is no water flowing, the friction on the skin makes the sliding tough (and the skin sticky). Water works as a great lubricant, making the trip down a lot more pleasant, even fun.

We take a lot of trips every day. Sometimes it is worth doing things the hard way, when we can see measurable benefits to ourselves and to people we love. But so often we choose to do things the hard way, especially if you have a stubborn streak as I do. Why? Why? Why? So often there is just no need to create all that extra friction. It just creates extra stress.

When the friction brings no benefits, why not just throw some water in your path and slide?

YOU

"Please place the oxygen mask over your own face before helping your seat mates with theirs." If you fly frequently, this note or something similar will sound very familiar. The basic principle is that you can best help save other people's lives if you don't let yourself die part-way through the process. It's not about being self-centered or selfish; it's common sense about being effective.

It's not just up in the air that we have to take care of ourselves first. Your friend might need your help, your guidance, your understanding, but if you are an emotional wreck, you won't have very much to give. At least, not very much useful.

To do good friend-help, first do good self-help. The best way to make other people happy is to be happy. The best way to make someone else smile is to smile. So help yourself to a better you.

Opportunities

"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone."

- Orison Swett Marden -

LUCK

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.

Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882-1945)
U.S. President

Going Fishing

"Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish."

- Ovid -

"A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."

- Grace Murray Hopper -

Balancing Act

Knowing when to compromise and when to stand your ground is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Hey, it serves you pretty well on the job and in your social life too. Why not start practising this skill now?

Striving for Excellence

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

- Aristotle -

Dare the Impossible

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

- St. Francis of Assisi -

TRANSPARENCY

Transparency is generally considered a good thing in government. But what about in our lives?

Transparency means that people can see what's really going on, who you really are. That can be scary. If people know everything about you, that leaves you vulnerable. But it also leaves you vulnerable.

Most people probably would not want to be 100% transparent. On the other hand, most of us could use a little more transparency and a little less of the mask we wear when we leave the privacy of our personal space. In fact, you would be amazed how rich your friendships can become if you open up a little window for people to peak inside your soul.

HAPPINESS III

"Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is."

- Aleksei Peshkov -

Moving Beyond Borders

"The love of one's country is a natural thing. But why should love stop at the border?

- Pablo Casals -

Life Is What We Make It

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

- Virginia Satir -

Strive for Success

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."

- Vincent Lombardi -

Push Beyond Limits

"Discontent is the first step in progress. No one knows what is in him till he tries, and many would never try if they were not forced to."

- Basil Maturin -

EXPERIENCE

There are some things you can't buy. You can't steal, you can't borrow and you can't even cram for. Like experience.

Experience is the result of going through life, through the process of whatever you become experienced about. There are some things that you have to earn, and even if you cheat on an exam or doctor your resume, you still won't have experience...except, hopefully, learning from your mistakes. Because it's just not fair to cheat yourself out of experience.

TEACHING

Did you know that you are a wonderful teacher? That's right. Every time you react to another person, you are teaching him or her how to behave around you.

A friend of ours was complaining about how her husband would mess up the clothes drawer looking for an item, and how she would have to keep cleaning it up after him.

What she did not realize is that by cleaning it up, she was making it acceptable for him to keep making the mess. Her complaints about "Why can't he learn?" were futile, because he was learning; he was learning what she was teaching him. And she was doing a phenomenally good job of teaching him.

You can't always make a grouchy person happy, and you can rarely make an 80-year old go sky diving. But you can teach most people how to act around you most of the time.

You are a great teacher, but are you teaching what you want to teach?

"Calmness is the cradle of power."

- Josiah Gilbert Holland -

"Reading is important - read between the lines. Don't swallow everything."

- Gwendolyn Brooks -

Our Own Little Fairy Tales

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."

Meredith Grey
Grey's Anatomy

Shush!

"Let me listen to me and not to them."

- Gertrude Stein -

Blessings in Disguise

"Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments, but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures."

- Joseph Addison -

Calm Composure

"My father used to say to me, 'Whenever you get into a jam, whenever you get into a crisis or an emergency…become the calmest person in the room and you'll be able to figure your way out of it.'"

- Rudolph Giuliani -

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."

Herbert Hoover (1874-1964)
U.S. President

The Golden Rule

"Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you."

It's all about RESPECT guys. You don't have to be an Einstein to know that.

On Making A Difference

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee."

- Marian Wright Edelman -

Are you a Realist?

"An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run."

- Sydney J. Harris -

Challenges

"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch - what makes you go beyond the norm."

- Cicely Tyson -

Listening to Oneself

"Don't let other people tell you what you want."

- Pat Riley -

BE YOURSELF

The worst crime is faking it.

Kurt Cobain (1967-1994)
Musician

A Purpose Driven Life

"I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all."

- Leo Rosten -

Being Twenty-Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Send this to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion.....GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!

Don't Speak

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

- Lady Dorothy Nevill -

LAZINESS

"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."

OK, I admit that I am often too much of a workaholic; I just like to keep busy. But I also can get lazy sometimes. Jules Renard is letting us know that it is OK to be lazy, to take a break and to rest before we get tired...sort of like preventative medicine for our energy levels.

Laziness... Under-rated? Over-hated? You decide.

SUCCESS

If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success.

John Rockefeller is reminding us that our own success depends on, well, our own success. We should not just follow somebody else. This does not mean we have to always re-invent the wheel, but strike out on your own path, do what you believe in, do what you enjoy, do what brings you fulfillment. You will succeed.

REALISM

The first time you swim, don't jump in the deep end. The first time you ski, don't head to the highest summit. The first time you walk...well, let's just assume you hadn't signed up for a marathon.

If there is something you want to change in your life, there will probably be another first time. And you might be tempted to jump in with both feet. Or you might be so afraid of jumping in with both feet, that you won't go in at all.

Why not stick your toe in the water first to feel the temperature. Make a small change in your life, and make plans to make the bigger change once you have mastered the small change.

This won't always work, of course. Sometimes, cold turkey is the way to go. But if cold turkey is too scary, try something a little easier to chew on...like warm turkey.

HAPPINESS II

"You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy."

Eric Hoffer's words are so true. We spend so much time chasing all the wrong things, mostly material things or respect of strangers who don't really matter, when we should be pursuing better experiences and the respect of those people closest to us (those whom we usually take far too much for granted).

LIFE

"My life has become easier because I got out of my own way; I started to take less things so seriously and remember that really very few things in life are in my control. The rest of it sort of happens, and my job is to recognize opportunities and navigate through them."

Happy navigation.

SELF ESTEEM

Forget your failures. Remember your success. This is the key to a higher self esteem.

Failures should be nothing more than lessons learned. Memories of failing are useless. Memories of lessons learned can be very constructive.

But don't forget your success. There are so many things you succeed at, but it is easy to forget them when the going gets rough...just when you need them most. Carry your successes like a badge of pride, like a shield of invulnerability. No matter what challenge you face today, you are valuable for all the successes you have already achieved.

HAPPINESS

"Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length."

Robert Frost was wrong. Thrills are high; happiness is long. A momentary jolt of euphoria is not what happiness is about. Happiness is about being at peace with yourself. It is about feeling fulfilled. It is about acceptance and generosity and enjoying whatever you are doing.

RESPECT

Nothing is stopping you from driving wherever you like. In the eastbound lane. In the westbound lane. On the sidewalk? Nothing, really.

Nothing except common sense and a mutual desire not to be smashed.

Sure there is a little white or yellow line down the middle of the road, but that won’t stop a car very easily. What is stopping us all from crossing it is an unspoken understanding: “I won’t smash into you, if you don’t smash into me.” The line is only a tool to help us define the boundary.

Use common sense and understanding. Even when there is no visible line, there are lines we all must respect, crossing over which would be like smashing into other people.